Active addiction and what it looked like for me

Active addiction

In active addiction

On broken wing

On broken wing she carries the demons of her past

On broken wings she carries all the broken dreams she had

On broken wing she rised up from the ash

On broken wing she reclaimed her life and won't back down without a fight

On broken wing she carries others sorrow and agony

Not trusting she'll ever break the cycle

Praying to a God she doesn't believe exists to not take her to a place unknown to her

For she's lived a hell on earth so how could she smile at the gates of heaven when for her they were never open

On broken wing she's crying and pleading for someone to listen to finally hear her

Walking a tight rope that's so close to breaking 

She's on the floor panting and crying the pain is fleeting 

Begging that she doesn't lose it

Facing demons others choose not to believe in

On broken wing she's slowly breaking 

In a world where everyone hides behind phony faces

Sinister echos beckon her

On broken wing she's fading fast because she can longer face what's behind the mask

My story

My name is Katy. My story starts at the age of 4 years old when I had been sexually assaulted by a 14 year old neighbor. Then just shy of my 6th birthday after my mother had dealt with my trauma and the trauma of my siblings a neighbor had introduced her to crack. Alot had happened between 6 to 10 due to my mother's addiction. But the real problems didn't begin until I was 11-12 years old. I began fighting and experimenting with sex at that age.At only 12 years old I was sentenced to 9 months in a program and was almost charged with attempted murder.  Although I  was only sentenced to 9 months I spent 13 month's in the program. 3 weeks prior to being released I was sexually assaulted by my roommate. After being released I was placed into the care of my grandmother. It wasn't long before she didn't want me. During this time I felt alone, unloved and unheard. It was as if my existence was a burden in everybody's life. After I was released from my grandmothers care I was placed into foster care. I absolutely hated it so I would constantly run away. I met a boy at church I thought was a good guy. I had ran away to be with him. It wasn't long before he started throwing rocks at me and saying mean things to me. During one point of me running away I began prostituting at 13 to have a place to stay. I did this until I was 18. At 16 i was fed ecstacy everyday for 3 months, gangraped repeatedly and was penetrated with guns and forced to have sex with a 10 year old then was kidnapped by a pimp and was forced to work for him. At some point I was put back into foster care. Where I stayed until my mom got custody back. At 18 me and my mom had been fighting so much I ran back into the hands of the pimp who kidnapped me and was raped twice at gun point. This is some small chunks of my story. Today me and my mother have the relationship I longed for growing up. I thank God everyday that me and my mom got past the obstacles that put a strain on our relationship. Our relationship has flourished into something magnificent. My mom is the strongest person I know she has been clean now for 17 years and has helped me along my own journey to recovery 

Yours truly

Katy Burroughs